ALL HAIL OMNIPOTENT THOMAS

spattergroit101:

stop following me in front 

pussylipgloss:

sweatpants dick is a wholesome source of energy looking at sweatpants dick can give you the protein you need for the whole day 

nyooms:

putlocker my main bitch, sockshare my side bitch, gorillavid my 3am booty call

Is he cute…or does he just have a beard?
These are questions we need to start asking ourselves (via jeniphyer)

kyrafic:

"Never did like that much," is a baller and superb way to express your irritation with the way the patriarchy refuses to acknowledge how badass you are.

"My name is Amy Poehler and I am a very hungry person."

hyenateeth:

sci fi Rosencrantz and Guildenstern AU where one of them is an android and the other is their builder/creator, but they can’t remember which one is which anymore 

Who doesn’t use the mobile app when they’re on the toliet

Ive been beat

goatcorporation:

all bugs can be organized into one of three categories: homies, chillers, and haters. hornets and wasps are haters. mosquitos are haters. most spiders are homies cuz they eat shitty bugs, some spiders are chillers cuz they dont really do anything, but also some spiders are…

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MM